Faith brings confidence when knowledge creates doubt

Key verse: “Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly.” Matthew 15: 28

I wish Jesus could say to me “O Woman, great is your faith”, but most of the time he must be saying, “Oh there she goes her again- with her doubts and questions.”

Sometime ago I found myself outside the operation theater where my son was in an emergency surgery, which would ensure that he could lead a normal life. But at that time the outcome was uncertain. He could also be left with injury that would last lifelong.

As he was being wheeled in, I saw his panic stricken face.  His little hand grasped mine and a shaky voice asked “Could you not be with me?” In my anxiety I shook my head. I forgot to tell him that though I could not be with him, God would be and that he would be alright.  We hadn’t had time to prepare him or ourselves for this crisis. As a couple who worked at the hospital, we had been explained in detail the surgical procedure and possible complications. While I prayed, I listed all the possible things that could go wrong instead of simply praying for healing. After that, I typed the procedure name on Google. 

Alongside us was a couple who had traveled more than 2000 kilometers to reach the hospital. Not knowing the local language, they understood little of what was explained to them about their child’s procedure. They had come in simple faith that as the doctor had explained in the last visit, this surgery would heal their child.

As I watched this couple not fret, or pace, but simply hold each other and wait, I felt jealous of the peace they felt. I realized that my education, influence or money would not matter, only the assurance that my child was in good hands- that of an excellent surgeon.

We have another master surgeon, one who knows our weaknesses and our needs. We need to trust him to work in us so that we can live healthy and fulfilled lives. He wants us to surrender to Him.

But my tendency is to depend on myself and take control.

I think that knowing more will get me further, that being more will take me higher, and that having more means security.

In Matthew 15:21- 28, we read of a Canaanite woman who is begging Jesus to heal her daughter who is demon possessed. The woman in the story approaches Jesus in complete faith in His ability to meet her need. She justifies her case when Jesus places a stumbling block, testing her. Many times my faith wavers in times of crisis. I seek information by frantically reading articles on spread of the Corona virus and checking the daily Sensex. I seek control by obsessively worrying about washing hands and wearing masks. I seek self reliance by saving money in case of a financial crisis. I forget that it is God who meets my needs and He who heals. When I have faith, my desires are fulfilled and I lack nothing. 

Dear Lord, Help me to rest in you, trusting you to meet all my needs. Let not anxieties or worries distract me from seeking you first at all times. Help me understand that knowledge does not substitute faith. Amen.

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