“I hate you, I love you,
I wish I was indifferent.
I wish feelings had numbers,
And emotions were transparent.
I wish when we said we loved,
It was forever and simple,
I wish when we hated,
We did cos of what the other did,
Not cos of how it made us feel.”
He set out with a change of heart
He promised himself he would only LOVE.
He would not allow emotions to control him.
He prepared for this for many years… while meditating alone on the mountain tops.
He suceeded for a while.
He saw an expensive car, he didn’t desire it.
He was hungry but ate only what he was given.
He went without water.
He denied himself luxuries that he was entitled to from his former position in the family.
He wrote off his share of the property.
He was good to all.
He helped the poor, and all who needed any kind of help came to him.
He gave his love to everyone.
Including the slender girl.
Who wore orange coloured flowers in her hair.
And fetched water from a stream near the place he stayed.
After a few shy glances, suppressed smiles, he felt an attraction so strong he increased his hours of meditation.
And even then her glances penetrated his serenity.
We are called to love he reasoned, so he did.
All love is from God.
A few days later, she didn’t come for water.
He was sad.
When she didn’t come the next day also, he grew afraid…
So he decided to visit her house- he was worried!
Her father was not humoured.
“It isn’t right for you to see my daughter, you who have no property on your name- how would you take care of her? Please leave!”
Her brother then came out and slapped him, chasing him away.
Now he was angry.
The next day when he saw another young man from the village talking to the girl with the orange flowers- he was jealous.
The next time they met she raised her eyebrows in contempt.
He realised that the overwhelming feeling rising inside himself was a perfect hatred.
Love and hatred are opposite sides of the same coin!