“And now in age I bud again;
After so many deaths I live and write;
I once more smell the dew and rain,
And relish versing.
O my only light,
It cannot be
That I am she
On whom Thy tempests fall all night. “
In another 2 days ends the most difficult year of my life.
I thought the previous year had that title, but was overtaken.
I have experienced the depth of emotional suffering, the intensity of physical pain,
And yet I lived.
I faced betrayal by people I loved unselfishly, and almost lost my family,
And yet I am not bitter.
I have at emotional breaking points so many times; I never thought I would make it,
And yet I am sane.
I have been pushed to my physical and psychological limits,
And yet I am whole.
There were many times I just wanted to give up, run away, or die,
And yet I stand.
Thinking about it, this has been the best year of my life.
I have overcome suffering and defeated pain,
Because someone comforted me.
I learned I that I could stand alone unwaveringly,
Because someone set me on a high rock.
I have been broken, but am still whole,
Because someone picked me up.
I learned that I was strong,
Because someone stronger held me.
Through it all, I learned.
And now I am not afraid to what is before me.
I know that in the coming year relationships may break, there may be pain, there may be suffering, treasured possessions may be lost.
But what I have something no one can take from me.
And that will be enough.
Photo credit: blossomingseoul.blogspot.in