And the LORD, he that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed. – Deuteronomy 31: 8

She went alone to buy him the wedding tie. She was so confused at the shop, she had no idea how to match a tie to the shirt. She felt very embarrassed. She went alone to buy the wedding shoes and ended up picking the first one she saw, because she felt so conscious.

She went alone to every single antenatal visit to the GP and watched the other couples holding hands and whispering about their babies. Ironically, she went alone for the contraception insertion as well.

She took the little one alone to her first day at the day care on a rainy rainy day. She tried to keep the 3 month old bundle warm by holding her close to her, or maybe she was trying to comfort herself. The rain hid her tears.

She went alone for his first Christmas performance. She saw his eyes searching the crowd for her, she tried to wave, but he didn’t see it. After a while he gave up, and he did his performance half heartedly. She felt like she was a failure.

She went alone for the parent teacher meeting. She let the teacher believe the lie he had told her, that his father was away on a long journey. She wondered if he was trying to protect his absent parent or his fragile ego. She cried very bitterly that day.

She took her alone to the doctor when she was seriously sick and for every immunisation. She held her hand tight while she wondered how much pain she would have to face when that little one grew up and prayed that God would spare her some of it.

She took them alone to church, where she got pitying looks, alone to the park, where the glances were curious, and alone to every function where other men were mistaken for the husband.

And she asked him who was to take care of her and the one who had said “I will never leave you nor forsake you”, Why did I have to do everything alone?

“I always keep my promises”, he said, ”You were never alone, I never left your side.”

I was the kind old man at the shop who taught you how to match a tie to the shirt, when you looked so lost and confused.

I was the auto driver who dropped you and baby to day care on that rainy day. I drove carefully and gently over every bump and dropped you till the door, so you wouldn’t get wet and because I saw that the little one was sleeping and I saw your tears.

I was the kind father who gave you a place to sit at the school function and picked up the things that had dropped from your bag as you struggled with your two children.

I was with the nurse who held your hand during your procedure with the doctor. She is usually the grumpy kind, just ask anybody.

I was with the doctor who always saw you first at the appointment, because she knew you came alone.

Do you remember that man in the crowded bus, who offered to keep your child on his lap, because there was no place to sit? You were really scared of him! That was me too.

What about the friend who you bumped into unexpectedly at the park, and who stayed with you till you left. Do you remember telling her she was God sent? Well I did.

You were in my arms, my beloved, when you held you feverish child in your arms at 2 AM, trying to feed her.

I was holding your hand every time you crossed the road without a zebra crossing, holding the toddler’s hand, baby across the hips and your bag draped across the shoulder.

I smiled every time you cried out to me and wished you could just see me.

I never left you and I never will.

That is a promise.






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This entry was posted in Christianity, friendship, parenting, psychology, self image, thoughts, Uncategorized, woman and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to NEVER ALONE

  1. WAW this is truly beautiful, thank you for writing. So so true, the words filled with emotion. May God continue to bless your blogs.


  2. Pingback: Nominated for the Mystery Blogger Award :) | Der Sonne folgen

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