“In this world you will have trials and tribulation, hardship and pain” John 16:33
“Waah, waah,” cried the little baby for hours. Her mommy didn’t understand that it was the diaper that was bothering the little one. She had tried to feed her baby unsuccessfully, tried to put her to sleep by rocking her, put off the ceiling fan, put it on again, changed her clothes, tried to feed again. Finally the little one slept. The diaper was changed a while later, and the mommy had an ‘AHA’ experience.
She held her little baby in her arm while she received her vaccination. A severe betrayal of trust according to the baby. Her mommy had allowed her to get hurt, when she maybe could have prevented it. That was more painful than anything she had experienced before. Should I trust my mommy again? Did she have a choice?
She left him with strange people in a new place. She kissed him goodbye, sounded apologetic and said she had to go for work. Then she was gone. He was afraid, he cried and cried till he cried himself to sleep. He woke up to find himself in the same place, his fear came back. He cried some more… silently this time.
She wanted to go out to play, her mom had said no. She thought maybe she wouldn’t mind anyway, and sneaked out. She cried after her spanking.
It was his toy that the younger child who had come on a visit had liked so much and cried for. And he had to give him his toy, just because he was younger. He was never allowed to take toys from his friends’ house.
His younger sister was street smart and always got away with everything, through hook or crook. The parents never seemed to notice. It was not fair.
At school the other kids teased him about his glasses. Mommy insists that he wears them. He is angry with her.
Her best friend at school made friends with someone she didn’t like. She is upset with her friend, but doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t have any other friends, so she sits alone during break time.
She has a crush on her classmate. She thinks it’s love. He cares a damn about her and goes out with her best friend instead.
She is made fun of, for going to church and believing in God. She doesn’t know how to defend herself. Now she’s not part of the gang anymore.
She has to write her final exams. It supposedly decides her future. She has studied, but is afraid of not meeting her parents’ high expectations. It is very stressful.
There is so much to do. She hasn’t slept for days. Her assignment is half done, just started studying her test portions, and the theses submission dead line is the same week. It was just too much.
She is being told that her attitude to life and work is bad, that if she doesn’t change, she will never be able to excel in her profession.
He asked her to marry him. Is he the one? Should she say yes? What if he wasn’t? What if it was a wrong decision?
She’s pregnant unexpectedly. The girl who was totally against an abortion and loved children was considering the option. She didn’t, but it was a hard decision.
She now has 2 children, her house is a mess, she is a mess, and her marital relationship is sinking. She wants out.
He is frustrated with his job and his boss. He has been applying to many other places, but hasn’t gotten a response. He is not able to make ends meet at home. Will he be able to settle his loan?
She wished she could die, but she has to hold on, for the children’s sake.
She has to decide if she want to be a super mom or a slacker mom or somewhere in between. She’s not sure. She knows she is nowhere near perfect, but has to come to terms with it.
The kids have left, suddenly she has no meaning in life. All their life everything had been centered around them. What did she live for now?
A sudden sickness leaves him dependent on others. The fiercely independent man has to depend on his wife for everything. He feels ashamed and worthless. Why did God have to let this happen?
She has pain everywhere. She is not able to enjoy the grandkids because of that, and also because she set high standards of behaviour and discipline for them. Would she be willing to change? Is it too late?
Erikson, the famous psychologist said that a healthy human passes through 8 stages from infancy to adulthood. In each stage the person has to confront, and master challenges. It is essential to master each stage so that you can go on to the next stage.
The infant learns to trust (belief that one can attain one’s deep and essential wishes)
The toddler learns autonomy (determination to exercise free choice and self control)
The preschooler learns initiative (courage to imagine and pursue important goals)
The school going child learns industry (exercise of skill and intelligence to complete tasks)
The teenager learns identity (ability to freely pledge and sustain loyalty)
The young adult learns intimacy (mutuality that transcends childhood dependency)
The older adult learns generativity (commitment and concern for family and community)
The senior adult learns ego integrity (detached yet active concern in the face of death)
Life was not better then.
Life will not get better after a while.
There is no point of thinking back, and wishing we were back at an earlier stage in life, because what looks like it was easy now, was very painful and stressful then.
There is no point looking towards the future and thinking it will get easier, because it doesn’t. There will be new problems and challenges.
The only choice you have is to take one day at a time, trusting and believing that in the end: “Everything will work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.“ Romans 8: 28-29
Photo credit- http://www.robsholtemuseum.nl